Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Pathedy of Manners

Pathedy of Manners by Ellen Kay 

At twenty she was brilliant and adored,
Phi Beta Kappa, sought for every dance;
Captured symbolic logic and the glance
Of men whose interest was their sole reward.

She learned the cultured jargon of those bred
To antique crystal and authentic pearls,
Scorned Wagner, praised the Degas dancing girls,
And when she might have thought, conversed instead.

She hung up her diploma, went abroad,
Saw catalogues of domes and tapestry,
Rejected an impoverished marquis,
And learned to tell real Wedgwood from a fraud.

Back home her breeding led her to espouse
A bright young man whose pearl cufflinks were real.
They had an ideal marriage, and ideal
But lonely children in an ideal house.

I saw her yesterday at forty-three,
Her children gone, her husband one year dead,
Toying with plots to kill time and re-wed
Illusions of lost opportunity.

But afraid to wonder what she might have known
With all that wealth and mind had offered her,
She shuns conviction, choosing to infer
Tenets of every mind except her own.

A hundred people call, though not one friend,
To parry a hundred doubts with nimble talk.
Her meanings lost in manners, she will walk
Alone in brilliant circles to the end.


     "Pathedy of Manners" by Ellen Kay expounds on the experiences of a woman who excelled at doing what society wanted, yet in the end can't cope with the idea that she was wrong to live her life in such a submissive state. The poem has a strong underlying tone that the woman in the poem is living her life only by what society tells her, and that her life is filled with choices that are less about her than about what society finds ideal. 

     The first stanza is a great characterization of the success the woman in the poem has within society. The poem's first line is simply about how the woman was already "brilliant and adorned" by the young age of twenty. The speaker makes special note that the woman in the poem is roughly the definition of what our society thinks is popular, she fits into a cliche role of the 'prom queen'. Society's acceptance and overall approval of her is reflected especially in the words, "sought for every dance." The woman is someone that society adores and strives to be around.

     In the second stanza the speaker comments mostly on the amount of effort and work that the woman put into becoming who she is. Where the first stanza had a tone of mild admiration, this second stanza is moving more towards the idea that the woman is merely 'fitting in' rather than being an individual. The woman went far out of her way to learn the ways of "those bred/ to antique crystal and authentic pearls." In this context these people are the upperclass, the wealthy elite that the woman is pleasing. The stanza then ends significantly with the line, "And when she might have thought, conversed instead." Instead of taking an internal and individualistic role (thinking), the woman chooses to instead "converse" and take an external role that is outside of herself.

     The third stanza opens with the woman putting aside her education by symbolically hanging her diploma and leaving it behind while she goes abroad. Any person could be expected to live abroad and have worldly experiences but the speaker makes a special point of saying that she put her diploma away before she went. The woman then goes on to have, "Rejected an impoverished marquis." A marquis is a (typically French) nobleman, and in this case he is impoverished. This shows that the woman in the poem is denying the poor and downtrodden from being around her, just as Torvald in A Doll House would not accept anything morally wrong in his home because it made it no longer beautiful. The woman shies from those parts of life that are less than pretty, ignoring and rejecting them.

     The woman and the society she lives in are most easily characterized in the next, fourth, stanza. This stanza opens by saying how the woman got into her marriage, which in her case is due to her "breeding". This first line shows that the woman's marriage is mostly just due to who society wants her to be, almost like having an arranged marriage. The word "breeding" is also important here because it has a very submissive undertone, animals are bred not people but in this case the speaker says that she was bred. The man she marries is given just about the same amount of personality as the woman, neither ever gets a line about who they really are and how they feel. In fact the only thing the speaker points out about her spouse is that his "pearl cufflinks were real", obviously an allusion to the idea that this is a man of wealth whom has risen in society's ranks. The woman's marriage with the man then leads to the ideal home with an ideal family, yet the children are bored and there's nothing more to say about the home than that it is ideal. This puts a submissive tone on the stanza which points directly at the fact that the woman is establishing her life based on society's standards, and it has gotten her nothing more than a bland home life.

     After this point the woman's life declines in it's 'success' with society. Though the speaker points out that "A hundred people call," the woman is still alone because of all these callers there is "not one friend". The woman continues to live her life by ignoring what might have been, and the potential that she had in life. She is essentially suffering the consequences of living a life that satisfied society but not her. The last to lines finish the poem with the idea that she focused so much on the standards of society that she has missed everything else and finally been left to "walk/ Alone in brilliant circles to the end."













No comments:

Post a Comment